


Converse, Bitches

by meismessofmemories



Category: ATEEZ (Band), GOT7, ITZY (Band), NCT (Band), Red Velvet (K-pop Band), Stray Kids (Band), TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band), TWICE (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Chatting & Messaging, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Gen, Getting Together, I Made That a Tag, Is It Funny? Who Knows, M/M, Multi, Other Idols Mentioned Frequently, Pining, Poor Kim Yugyeom, Relationships Will Remain A Mystery Ha Ha!, Texting, What’s A Fanfic Without Angst?, Yeri Is Whipped, Yugyeom And Jeongguk Best “Bros”, jongho is whipped, lots of pining, maknae line shenanigans, park jisung is also an idiot, there will be angst, this is a mess, yeri and tzuyu titanic lesbians and we stan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-13 10:28:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29400537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meismessofmemories/pseuds/meismessofmemories
Summary: brownie bitch: greetings childrenbrownie bitch: welcome to the Hunger Gamesbrownie bitch: i am your hostbrownie bitch: kim yugyeom ;Dkiwi: …kiwi: That was the worst group chat introduction I've ever readsquirtle girl: you’re so lame smhbrownie bitch: you said. you weren’t going. to bully me.daddy: we lieddaddy: <3
Relationships: Tis A Mystery
Comments: 11
Kudos: 35





	1. Kim Yugyeom’s First Mistake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> brownie bitch: kookie using kaomoji makes me uncomfy
> 
> daddy: yeomie using his internal organs makes me uncomfy (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)
> 
> squirtle girl: so this is the kind of gc it’s gonna be
> 
> squirtle girl: cursed bitches. 
> 
> squirtle girl: good thing i’m a cursed bitch 🤪🤪 
> 
> brownie bitch: STOP USING EMOJIS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i did say i was going to work on Blueprint. i lied. instead i started writing a maknae line chatfic and for some reason i have decided to post it. attempt at humor should be taken very literally as this was an //attempt//.  
> (i didn’t include a l l the maknaes that would be impossible thanks)

_ brownie bitch has created a chat! _

_ brownie bitch has added daddy, kiwi, and squirtle girl! _

_ brownie bitch has named the chat maknae central! _

**brownie bitch:** converse bitches 

**daddy:** why is my name daddy?

**kiwi:** Probably because of your fanbase

**kiwi:** I like my name, by the way

**kiwi:** Fits me

**brownie bitch:** wink

**squirtle girl:** SQUIRTLE GIRL LMAO

**squirtle girl:** U GENIUS

**kiwi:** Omg hey Yeri

**squirtle girl:** hi tzuyu <3

**daddy:** please stop flirting i get enough of this living with taehyung and jimin 

**squirtle girl:** GASP

**squirtle girl:** ARE THEY A THING

**daddy:** no

**daddy:** that’s the worst part

**kiwi:** Oof

**brownie bitch:** neways

**brownie bitch:** this is our maknae group chat

**brownie bitch:** maknaes on top

**kiwi:** Maknae on top

**kiwi:** Ooooooh~

**brownie bitch:** is that from the skz baby’s new single thing 

**kiwi:** “The SKZ baby”

**kiwi:** But yes

**squirtle girl:** i saw that

**squirtle girl:** a tiny king tbh

**daddy:** tiny 

**daddy:** just like

**daddy:** ur height hahahahahah

**kiwi:** …

**squirtle girl:** stfu u bunny looking white t shirt headass

**kiwi:** *... intensifies*

**brownie bitch:** fuckin rekt tbh

**daddy:** i don’t have to explain myself

**squirtle girl:** that’s what i thought

**squirtle girl:** international playboy my ass

**brownie bitch:** yERI 

**kiwi:** I am

**kiwi:** Impressed

**brownie bitch:** thought she was gonna say turned on for a second 

**kiwi:** Yugyeom oppa :)

**brownie bitch:** shit never mind 

**kiwi:** What do you say?

**brownie bitch:** tzuyu is always right

**brownie bitch:** tzuyu is a stunning queen

**brownie bitch:** tzuyu is the eternal maknae 

**brownie bitch:** long live empress tzuyu

**kiwi:** That’s better 

**squirtle girl:** PLS IM SO SCARED

**daddy:** …

**daddy:** tzuyu is so intimidating wow 

**squirtle girl:** it’s the height

**squirtle girl:** she’s the same size as jimin oppa

**daddy:** shit u right 

**daddy:** and don’t call jimin oppa you’ll inflate his ego

**daddy:** that’s why i don’t call him hyung (^з^)-☆

**brownie bitch:** kookie using kaomoji makes me uncomfy

**daddy:** yeomie using his internal organs makes me uncomfy (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)

**squirtle girl:** so this is the kind of gc it’s gonna be

**squirtle girl:** cursed bitches. 

**squirtle girl:** good thing i’m a cursed bitch 🤪🤪

**brownie bitch:** STOP USING EMOJIS

**squirtle girl:** make me 

**brownie bitch:** i-

**brownie bitch:** is it too late to go back

**kiwi:** You made this chat Yugyeom

**kiwi:** Now you have to live with it

**brownie bitch:** sobs

**daddy:** i like how we’ve collectively decided to drop the honorifics 

**brownie bitch:** who uses honorifics in texting smh

**daddy:** me??

**daddy:** except for jimin 

**kiwi:** I never use honorifics for my unnies because it annoys them 

**daddy:** exactly

**daddy:** tzuyu gets me 

**squirtle girl:** sheeeeeesh

**squirtle girl:** joohyun unnie would kill me

**brownie bitch:** she would

**brownie bitch:** she scares me

**brownie bitch:** like

**brownie bitch:** a lot

**squirtle girl:** good :)

**brownie bitch:** what did i ever do to deserve this 

**daddy:** you breathed, bitch 

**brownie bitch:** all i feel is pain. 

**kiwi:** Who asked???

**squirtle girl:** LMAO TZU

**daddy:** sheeeeeesh

**daddy:** “tzu”

**daddy:** they’re on a nickname basis now 

**brownie bitch:** why is it bullying yugyeom hours i’m so sad pls

**brownie bitch:** and yes ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**squirtle girl:** fuck the shut up bitchboys 

**daddy:** we didn’t say anything!

**brownie bitch:** yeah! 

**kiwi:** Weirdos

**kiwi:** Yeri and I are the only mature adults here 

**squirtle girl:** WAIT

**squirtle girl:** what if 👉👈 

**squirtle girl:** we made 🤔

**squirtle girl:** another group chat 🤪

**squirtle girl:** but with m o r e 🤭

**squirtle girl:** maknaes 🥵

**brownie bitch:** …

**brownie bitch:** like other group maknaes? the only younger ones i know are stray kids txt and itzy

**kiwi:** I know Yuna and Jeongin as well

**squirtle girl:** AND JISUNGIE

**squirtle girl:** my son <33

**daddy:** i’m not embarrassing myself in front of a bunch of kids

**squirtle girl:** you won’t!! we won’t bully each other in that gc

**squirtle girl:** we’ll be the Kool Kids 

**squirtle girl:** and you’ll finally have a bunch of kids to call you hyung!

**daddy:** IM SOLD

**daddy:** INVITE YOUR CHILDREN. 

**kiwi:** Really?

**brownie bitch:** well

**brownie bitch:** i guess

**brownie bitch:** but NO BULLYING YUGYEOM IN FRONT OF THE OTHERS

**brownie bitch:** pls :(

**kiwi:** …

**squirtle girl:** fine

**squirtle girl:** i’ll give you jisungs number!

**daddy:** i guess huening kai might like to join 

**kiwi:** I’ll message Yuna? 

**brownie bitch:** guess i’m asking chan for his sons number 

**brownie bitch:** OH! 

**brownie bitch:** and choi jongho

**brownie bitch:** i saw him break an apple with his bare hands at a party once 

**brownie bitch:** coolest mf

**kiwi:** Okay then

**kiwi:** You make the chat Yugyeom 

**brownie bitch:** on it ;) 

  
  


_ brownie bitch has created a chat! _

_ brownie bitch has added daddy, kiwi, squirtle girl, and four others! _

_ brownie bitch has named the chat  _ **_maknae supremacy!_ **

**brownie bitch:** greetings children

**brownie bitch:** welcome to the Hunger Games

**brownie bitch:** i am your host

**brownie bitch:** kim yugyeom ;D

**kiwi:** …

**kiwi:** That was the worst group chat introduction I've ever read

**squirtle girl:** you’re so lame smh

**brownie bitch:** you said. you weren’t going. to bully me. 

**daddy:** we lied

**daddy:** <3

**not shy:** what the fucking shit fuck is this

**kiwi:** Hi Yuna! <3

**not shy:** oh shit waddup unnie

**not shy:** omg unnie is ur gf on this chat

**kiwi:** Yuna shhhh 

**squirtle girl:** you have a girlfriend tzu? hahha that’s so nice 

**brownie bitch:** …

**brownie bitch:** that was so sad

**kiwi:** No I don’t have a girlfriend 

**kiwi:** I’m not allowed to date 

**squirtle girl:** oh funny ha lol just wondering rip lol hahah

**not shy:** damn squirtle girl ur more of a simp than ryujin unnie

**daddy:** LMAO

**squirtle girl:** ahem

**squirtle girl:** shall we do introductions? of the oldest maknaes?

**brownie bitch:** hold on simp

**brownie bitch:** _@everyone_ THIS IS A MAKNAE GROUP CHAT BC YERIM SAID SO!! SO YEAH

**squirtle girl:** done?

**brownie bitch:** done

**squirtle girl:** cool

**squirtle girl:** sup bitches i’m yeri

**squirtle girl:** from red velvet 

**squirtle girl:** you go  _ @kiwi _

**kiwi:** Oh okay, I’m Choi Tzuyu from Twice

**daddy:** jeon jeongguk

**daddy:** you know me ;)

**brownie bitch:** does your ego ever take a break?

**daddy:** hm

**daddy:** no?

**not shy:** siiiiick

**not shy:** a bunch of old people 

**not shy:** well anyways i’m yuna

**not shy:** if you have taste you know my group from my display name <3

**not shy:** if you don’t 

**not shy:** get out /srs

**kiwi:** Isn’t she fun? 

**not shy:** unnie you text like a mom

**kiwi:** Yuna please

**tinie:** wait omg

**tinie:** yUNA?

**not shy:** JISUNG?

**tinie:** MY QUEEN 

**not shy:** MY KING 

**tinie:** YOU DROPPED THIS 👑 

**not shy:** YOU DROPPED THIS 👑 

**brownie bitch:** don’t you just love friendship

**brownie bitch:** bet you wouldn’t know how that feels @ kookie

**daddy:** yugyeom we’re literally best bros stfu

**kiwi:** Yuna I didn’t know you and Jisung knew each other 

**not shy:** were bestie boos 

**tinie:** that’s right

**not shy:** we go to the same high school lmao

**tinie:** bestie boooooos

**not shy:** <3

**tinie:** <3

**squirtle girl:** wholesome omg 

**hyuka:** GIRL WHAT

**hyuka:** I KNOW THOSE AREN’T MY BESTIE BOOS

**not shy:** OMG KAI WTF

**tinie:** WTF WTF WTF 

**hyuka:** PLS

**not shy:** SMALL WORLD HUH

**squirtle girl:** eye-

**kiwi:** I guess they all go to the same school

**hyuka:** THESE FUCKING HOES LMAO

**hyuka:** BITCHES COME HEEEEERE

**not shy:** YOHHHHHHH

**tinie:** LMFAO YALL

**squirtle girl:** and i thought i was at peak gen-z form

**brownie bitch:** i feel so old

**brownie bitch:** brb gotta dig my grave 

**tinie:** IMAGINE HAVING ALL MY HOES HERE

**not shy:** LOVE U BOOS <3

**hyuka:** LOVE U QUEENS <3

**tinie:** LOVE U BAES <3

**kiwi:** Now I’m confused

**kiwi:** Are you guys dating? 

**not shy:** lmfao unnie no 

**tinie:** we’re platonic babes <3

**hyuka:** platonic hoes <3

**not shy:** platonic soulmatesies <3

**brownie bitch:** they’re so in sync wow

**brownie bitch:** kookie why aren’t we like that

**daddy:** we’re too old

**brownie bitch:** wow i’m sad 

**kiwi:** Well now we’ve met almost everyone

**kiwi:** Except Jeongin

**brownie bitch:** and jongho

**squirtle girl:** let’s summon them

**squirtle girl:** jeongin

**brownie bitch:** jongho

**squirtle girl:** jeongin 

**brownie bitch:** jongho 

**not shy:** jeongin

**tinie:** jongho 

**kiwi:** Jeongin

**hyuka:** jongho 

**squirtle girl:** JEONGIN

**brownie bitch:** JONGHO

**not shy:** JEONGIN

**baby bread:** yes? （╹◡╹）

**squirtle girl:** omg it worked

**squirtle girl:** wow

**squirtle girl:** powerful 

**brownie bitch:** JEONGIN!!

**brownie bitch:** do you remember me

**brownie bitch:** it’s ur favorite got7 hyung!!

**baby bread:** bambam hyung?

**kiwi:** …

**squirtle girl:** …

**tinie:** …

**not shy:** ouch

**daddy:** _@brownie bitch_ LOL BITCH GO CRY YOURSELF A RIVER

**brownie bitch:** all i feel is pain. 

**brownie bitch:** i was born with glass bones and paper skin. every morning i break my legs and every afternoon i break my arms. at night i lay in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep. 

**squirtle girl:** boohoo bitch

**squirtle girl:** _@baby bread_ the man child you just obliterated is unfortunately not bambam

**daddy:** it’s yugyeom :\

**brownie bitch:** WHY AM I HATED 

**baby bread:** oh yugyeom hyung!

**baby bread:** i’m so sorry :((

**brownie bitch:** aww it’s alright 

**baby bread:** but could we get bambam hyung on here instead?

**daddy:** LMAO

**not shy:** SHIT OPPA GO OFF

**kiwi:** I feel kind of sorry for Yugyeom at this point

**squirtle girl:** i don’t

**hyuka:** y’all wild

**hyuka:** and hi jeongguk hyung!

**daddy:** hi kai! 

**hyuka:** how’s ur schedule?

**daddy:** pretty busy

**daddy:** how’s yours? i heard soobinnie has a stage coming up

**hyuka:** he does

**hyuka:** we’re busy but not as busy as you guys 

**daddy:** drink water <3

**hyuka:** ok hyung <3

**brownie bitch:** shit that was so cute

**brownie bitch:** i’m choking 

**squirtle girl:** kinky 

**not shy:** exposed

**tinie:** kim yugyeom choke kink confirmed!!!!!!

**brownie bitch:** NO

**kiwi:** Just two seconds of wholesome energy

**kiwi:** That’s all I ask

**baby bread:** i’m kidding hyung ( ◠‿◠ )

**baby bread:** is jongho on here?

**baby bread:** i want to see my brother in law

**squirtle girl:** brother in law 

**not shy:** it’s bc seungmin oppa and jongho are fucking 

**kiwi:** YUNA

**hyuka:** LMAO QUEEN

**tinie:** WAIT ARE THEY REALLY

**baby bread:** not yet ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**hyuka:** ALSKLDJS

**baby bread:** it’s ok i can summon him

**baby bread:** ahem

**baby bread:** SEUNGMIN SOLO STAGE

**opera mf:** Hello

**not shy:** LMFAOOOOO

**baby bread:** hey bro

**opera mf:** Hi Jeongin

**opera mf:** Why am I here?

**squirtle girl:** maknae group chat

**squirtle girl:** blame yugyeom

**opera mf:** Cool

_ opera mf has left the chat! _

**brownie bitch:** BITCH

_ brownie bitch has added opera mf! _

**opera mf:** No let me go

**opera mf:** And Jeongin I am not in a relationship with Seungmin 

**opera mf:** I just think he’s cool

**opera mf:** And we hang out sometimes 

**opera mf:** And sing 

**opera mf:** And bake

**opera mf:** And chill

**tinie:** gay

**not shy:** fellas, is it gay to hang out, sing, bake, and chill with your homie who you also happen to have a phat crush on? 

**opera mf:** I literally just got here and I’m being attacked

**brownie bitch:** join the club

**brownie bitch:** at least you can break an apple with your bare hands

**brownie bitch:** like a mighty mountain man

**baby bread:** seungminnie hyung would like that

**opera mf:** Really?

**hyuka:** w h i p p e d

**tinie:** is there a straight maknae? does that exist?

**squirtle girl:** no

**daddy:** no

**kiwi:** No

**not shy:** no

**brownie bitch:** no

**hyuka:** no

**baby bread:** no

**opera mf:** …

**opera mf:** I’m straight

**squirtle girl:** oh honey 

**squirtle girl:** you poor poor child in denial 

**tinie:** STOP

**tinie:** IT CANT RHYME

**tinie:** I HATE IT

**squirtle girl:** …

**squirtle girl:** the fuck

**hyuka:** jisungie bae hates poetry 

**kiwi:** We’re singers 

**not shy:** i’m a rapper

**kiwi:** Shhhhh

  
**opera mf:** This won’t turn out well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have no idea where jisung, kai, and yuna went to school, but for the sake of the fanfic we’re changing a few things. name list will be posted next chapter though you could probably figure the names out.  
> (pls ignore any mistakes i make with honorifics. why have i done this.)


	2. Bread Cults and Kitchen Fires

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> baby bread: guys chill it wasn’t her dildo it was someone else’s 
> 
> baby bread: she was just returning it
> 
> hyuka: HOW DOES THAT MAKE IT ANY BETTER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as promised, here is the list of names~  
> yugyeom - brownie bitch  
> jeongguk - daddy  
> tzuyu - kiwi  
> yeri - squirtle girl  
> yuna - not shy  
> jeongin - baby bread  
> kai - hyuka  
> jongho - opera mf  
> jisung - tinie

_maknae supremacy_

**not shy:** LMAO OKAY SO

**not shy:** FUNNY STORY

**tinie:** tell us queen

**not shy:** LIA LIT THE KITCHEN ON FIRE 

**kiwi:** …

**kiwi:** Yuna we live in the same building 

**not shy:** oh dw unnie it was only the kitchen not the rest of the building 

**not shy:** p sure that would be considered arson(?)

**not shy:** but anyways

**not shy:** ryujin unnie grabbed the fire extinguisher and put it out but yeji unnie’s meat was ruined

**not shy:** so jisu is currently camping outside the apartment in a small pop up tent with a bag of barbecue chips

**baby bread:** that does sound like her

**baby bread:** one time she walked into one of channie hyungs lives with a dildo in her hand

**tinie:** WHOA

**kiwi:** Excuse Me What

**hyuka:** MY EYES

**hyuka:** THEYRE BURNING

**hyuka:** _@daddy_ JEONGGUK HYUNG SCOOP THEM OUT 🥄 

**daddy:** huh

**daddy:** EW WTF IM NOT SCOOPING YOUR EYES OUT WITH A SPOON

**baby bread:** guys chill it wasn’t her dildo it was someone else’s 

**baby bread:** she was just returning it

**hyuka:** HOW DOES THAT MAKE IT ANY BETTER

**hyuka:** I NEED THERAPY

**not shy:** shut up we’ve seen what you do with that jin poster on your wall

**tinie:** oh she went there

**kiwi:** …

**hyuka:** hey now let’s not be too hasty-

**daddy:** the

**daddy:** the what

**daddy:** SEOKJIN HYUNG?

**daddy:** PASS THE SPOON I NEED IT MORE THATS SO GRSS HES LIXKD MY DAD

**brownie bitch:** you broke him. 

**hyuka:** NO HYUNG YOU DONT UNDERSTAND ITS NOTHING BAD I JSUT KISS IT SOMETIMES

**daddy:** EWWWWWW THATS MY DAD

**squirtle girl:** i 

**squirtle girl:** uh

**squirtle girl:** _@not shy_ is your kitchen alright though

**not shy:** yeah it’s just the stove that’s kinda 

**not shy:** melted

**not shy:** but ryujin unnie has a friend who can fix it for us 

**not shy:** so it all works out~

**tinie:** ok queen 

**baby bread:** the 00 liners nearly burnt our kitchen down once trying to make pancakes

**kiwi:** How-

**baby bread:** felix sprayed anti stick pan spray directly into the flames to help the pancakes cook faster

**kiwi:** Well that’ll do it

**tinie:** it’s always the 00 liners smh

**not shy:** okay magic hands 

**tinie:** shutup shutup 

**tinie:** i drop one(1) science project

**not shy:** i worked on it for months. 

**tinie:** and suddenly i’m “clumsy” and “a fucking idiot” and “going to die after school”

**not shy:** you are. 

**tinie:** no! i’m not! mark says i’m smart!

**opera mf:** Mark hyung*

**tinie:** we do Not use honorifics in this house. 

**not shy:** not @jongho’s first words being a grammar correction 

**opera mf:** Technically it’s not… grammar?

**not shy:** potato tomato

**opera mf:** That is not the same thing

**not shy:** your mom isn’t the same thing

_opera mf has left the chat!_

**brownie bitch:** yuna 

**brownie bitch:** i swear

_brownie bitch has added opera mf!_

**daddy:** omg…

**daddy:** yeomie…

**brownie bitch:** omg…

**brownie bitch:** kookie…

**daddy:** omg…

**brownie bitch:** omg…

**not shy:** wtf was that

**not shy:** some boomer mating ritual or something?

**hyuka:** BOOMER MATING RITUAL LMAO

**tinie:** good one queen

**not shy:** shut up jisung i’m still mad at u

**tinie:** IT WAS THREE MONTHS AGO

**not shy:** yeah. three months of growing, festering, seething rage. 

**tinie:** sobs

**not shy:** boohoo bitch

**kiwi:** Yuna, you remind me a lot of Yeri

**kiwi:** That scares me a little bit

**squirtle girl:** why?

**not shy:** why?

**squirtle girl:** omg jinx

**not shy:** omg jinx 

**squirtle girl:** WHOA

**not shy:** WHOA

**hyuka:** STOP. 

**hyuka:** witchcraft!!!! t t t t

**daddy:** huening that’s a lowercase t not a cross

**hyuka:** your proof?

**daddy:** …

**daddy:** okay

**hyuka:** ahem. 

**hyuka:** witchcraft!!!! t t t t t t t t 

**baby bread:** channie hyung just got exposed on his live

**not shy:** oh? do tell :)

**baby bread:** the smiley scares me but i will tell bc i love exposing channie hyung. 

**baby bread:** minho hyung walked in and asked hyung why his spongebob themed boxer shorts were hanging in the kitchen on changbin hyungs fishing pole

**not shy:** …

**not shy:** but why were they

**baby bread:** it’s bc minnie and i used them to play capture the flag with the 00 liners friends in our dorm

**tinie:** YO

**tinie:** WAS JAEMIN THERE

**baby bread:** yes

**tinie:** he might’ve accidentally stolen some of your scented candles

**baby bread:** are you serious

**baby bread:** oh no

**baby bread:** bless his poor unfortunate soul

**tinie:** …

**tinie:** what 

**baby bread:** those were minho hyungs favorite candles. 

**not shy:** he has favorite candles?

**baby bread:** yes. 

**tinie:** sh i t

**tinie:** hyungs gonna die

**opera mf:** So we’re using honorifics now?

**tinie:** well it’s his last day on earth i might as well 

**hyuka:** rest in peace, na jaemin 

**hyuka:** you will be missed

**tinie:** my hyungs gonna die :’’’(

**baby bread:** most likely lmao

**kiwi:** So no one is going to ask how he “accidentally” stole a bunch of candles?

**not shy:** nct has one less member today

**not shy:** not that it makes much of a difference 

**not shy:** lmao rabbits

**kiwi:** YUNA

**daddy:** holy shit

**daddy:** you didn’t have to 

**daddy:** wow

**squirtle girl:** yuna’s casual obliteration of people’s whole lives is everything 

**squirtle girl:** was i that savage at 17 years of age?

**brownie bitch:** definitely not

**squirtle girl:** up the shut fuck brownie bitch. 

**hyuka:** Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬

**squirtle girl:** …

**squirtle girl:** that was random

**not shy:** Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬

**tinie:**

Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬Da🐬

**brownie bitch:** is this a cult wtf

**brownie bitch:** @ kookie why haven’t we made a cult yet :(

**daddy:** ?????? because ????? you never asked ??????????

**brownie bitch:** well i’m asking now bitch

**brownie bitch:** what type of cult should it be

**kiwi:** Maybe no cults

**baby bread:** did someone say cult?

**kiwi:** No

**baby bread:** i know all about those ;)

**brownie bitch:** really?

**brownie bitch:** teach us your ways

**kiwi:** No

**baby bread:** well first you need a cult leader

**baby bread:** that’s me

**baby bread:** i have a bread cult

**baby bread:** named in my honor ofc

**kiwi:** Stop

**brownie bitch:** okay okay i see

**brownie bitch:** so me and jeongukkie’s cult

**brownie bitch:** i’d be the leader right

**baby bread:** no you can’t just create the cult

**baby bread:** you have to join one

**daddy:** why?

**kiwi:** Why is this being taken as a serious conversation?

**daddy:** shhhhhh

**baby bread:** you two can join my cult

**brownie bitch:** really? :0

**baby bread:** yes

**brownie bitch:** yay!!!!! jeongguk we’re part of a cult!!!!!!!!!!

**daddy:** bread cult bread cult 

**kiwi:** S t o p

**squirtle girl:** bread cult bread cult

**not shy:** bread cult bread cult

**tinie:** bREAD CULT BREAD CULT

**kiwi:** No

**hyuka:** BREAD CULT BREAD CULT

**kiwi:** Why

**baby bread:** all is bread. you cannot escape. 

**opera mf:** What is happening?

**baby bread:** hyungie 

**baby bread:** join my cult (*´ー｀*)

**opera mf:** Did you just call me hyungie 

**baby bread:** yes

**baby bread:** did it work

**opera mf:** Bread cult bread cult

**kiwi:** WHY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this whole thing is set in the real world, but there are so many innacuracies we'll just say it's a //slight// au and ignore any mistakes i make.  
> and since i have no self control, we'll be jumping straight into the first drama arc next chapter! enjoy~  
> 


	3. Jongho's Not-Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tinie: p u n i s h m e n t p a n ?
> 
> not shy: it’s a pan yeji unnie smacks us with if we’re being dumbasses 
> 
> tinie: s m a c k s ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what is an update schedule? sounds fake to me
> 
> yugyeom - brownie bitch   
> jeongguk - daddy  
> tzuyu - kiwi   
> yeri - squirtle girl   
> yuna - not shy   
> jeongin - baby bread   
> kai - hyuka  
> jongho - opera mf   
> jisung - tinie

_maknae supremacy_

**opera mf:** Jeongin I need help

**opera mf:** Seungmin just asked if I wanted to go out and I can’t tell if it was in a “two bros chilling” type way or a “I want to have your children” type of way help me please

**baby bread:** …

**baby bread:** jongho…

**opera mf:** I know, right? It’s so weird the way he worded it

**baby bread:** no it’s not that

**baby bread:** check which chat you're in

**opera mf:** Fuck

_opera mf has left the chat!_

**brownie bitch:** LMAO PLS

_brownie bitch has added opera mf!_

**opera mf:** No let me die

**brownie bitch:** u cant keep leaving when you have an issue

**squirtle girl:** tsk tsk tsk

**squirtle girl:** poor little jongho

**not shy:** i thought you were straight, oppa?

**hyuka:** yeah, oppa :(

**tinie:** did you lie, oppa?

**opera mf:** Stop

**opera mf:** Why are you calling me oppa

**opera mf:** And I am straight I’m just confused about some things

**squirtle girl:** things being kim seungmin

**squirtle girl:** smh

**kiwi:** Guys stop bullying him he’s just a lad

**kiwi:** A poor confused lad

**opera mf:** i’m 20 years old??

**not shy:** so is jisu and she’s still a dumbass

**tinie:** oof

**baby bread:** well now that everyone knows too much about jongho

**baby bread:** we can solve his problem

**baby bread:** show us the texts!!

**opera mf:** Sigh

**opera mf:** Fine

  
  


_ <Seungminnie: _

_Hey I’m free today wanna go out for ice cream?_

_Jongho: > _

_Out_

_Sorry my finger slipped I meant sure_

_What time?_

_ <Seungminnie: _

_Around noon? I’ll meet you there_

  
  


**opera mf:** That’s what happened

**not shy:** dumbass

**opera mf:** Hey :(

**baby bread:** it’s okay jongho

**baby bread:** even though you lack

**baby bread:** well

**baby bread:** a lot

**baby bread:** we can help you out

**opera mf:** Thank you?

**hyuka:** your problem is confidence

**hyuka:** just ask him if it’s a date

**opera mf:** I can’t

**tinie:** why?

**opera mf:** I don’t know

**brownie bitch:** way to be specific

**not shy:** choi jongho, whose words do not come easily

**baby bread:** okay but seriously

**baby bread:** just ask him when the time is right

**baby bread:** you want it to be a date, don’t you?

**opera mf:** …

**opera mf:** No?

**squirtle girl:** biggest fucking facepalm of my life

**not shy:** d u m b a s s

**kiwi:** I’m just shocked, that’s all

**opera mf:** Stop :(

**opera mf:** I don’t _not_ want it to be a date?

**hyuka:** this is painful to witness

**baby bread:** okay jongho

**baby bread:** here’s what you’re going to do

**baby bread:** you’re going to make a joke about it being a date and see how seungmin reacts. okay?

**tinie:** omg genus 

**not shy:** “genus”

**opera mf:** Oh

**opera mf:** Alright

**baby bread:** can you do that?

**opera mf:** Yes

**hyuka:** ...

**baby bread:** really?

**opera mf:** Yes

**baby bread:** reeeeaaaaalllyyyyyy????

**opera mf:** …

**opera mf:** Yes

**squirtle girl:** damn he’s serious 

**brownie bitch:** our stronk little boy 🥰

**daddy:** ew i thought you said you didn’t like emojis

**brownie bitch:** shut up my love

**daddy:** okay my prince 

**brownie bitch:** thank you my little snowflake 

**daddy:** you’re welcome my butter crumpet 

**kiwi:** …

**not shy:** what the fuck

**hyuka:** it’s probably a boomer thing 

**tinie:** okay so i’m confused

**tinie:** are jeongguk and yugyeom dating or are they just creepy close best friends

**daddy:** friends :)

**brownie bitch:** friends :)

**kiwi:** Ominous...

**squirtle girl:** there’s definitely something going on there

**kiwi:** Agreed

**brownie bitch:** yeah? as if the two of you don’t spend all your time pining over each other

**brownie bitch:** “oh yugyeomie she’s just so cute i’m going to die”

**brownie bitch:** “yugyeom omg she sent me a selfie and it was so hot i think i birthed a kidney”

**brownie bitch:** “please kim yugyeom, please officiate our wedding i’m begging you”

**not shy:** oh snap

**daddy:** holy shit

**hyuka:** was not expecting that

**not shy:** well uh anyways

**not shy:** good luck on your date jongho 

**opera mf:** It’s not a date

**baby bread:** you don’t know that yet!! 

**opera mf:** Yeah 

**opera mf:** Well I’m heading off

**opera mf:** Wish me luck

**not shy:** i literally just did you fucking dumbass

**opera mf:** :(

**baby bread:** and he’s off

**brownie bitch:** bet u never had a date @ kookie 

**daddy:** ?? why must you bully me ?? i did nothing ??

**brownie bitch:** idk 

**daddy:** ugh 

**daddy:** this is blatant homophobia

**daddy:** get out of my kitchen

**brownie bitch:** …

**brownie bitch:** jeongguk we’re both gay and you can’t cook

**daddy:** coochie

**hyuka:** WHOA

**tinie:** hyung what

**not shy:** that was a little forward imo 

**daddy:** NO

**daddy:** I MEANT THE THING THAT FRENCH PEOPLE SAY

**daddy:** YKNOW?

**tinie:** uh

**tinie:** touché?

**daddy:** YEAH THAT

**not shy:** dumbass

**squirtle girl:** dumbass 

**daddy:** :0 babe they called me a dumbass

**brownie bitch:** hey don’t call my sweet sugarplum a dumbass

**brownie bitch:** just because it’s true doesn’t make it acceptable to say

**tinie:** seriously are they dating 

**hyuka:** not yet

**brownie bitch:** hmmm it’s a little suspicious that my kim yerimie appears after her shame to call my succulent water flower a dumbass and then disappears

**tinie:** u called her out hyung

**not shy:** jisungie queen stop using honorifics it’s weird

**tinie:** okay bae 

**tinie:** anyways i wonder if jongho is there yet

**baby bread:** too bad someone couldn’t follow seungmin out of the dorm and spy on them while they’re on their date

**brownie bitch:** …

**not shy:** no way

**baby bread:** ;)

**tinie:** OKAY GIVE US UPDATES PLS

**baby bread:** ? i never said i did anything ?

**hyuka:** it was implied hyung 

**brownie bitch:** omgomgomg

**brownie bitch:** so what’s happening?

**baby bread:** nothing yet, seungminnie just got there and he’s waiting for jongho to arrive 

**daddy:** i thought jongho left a while ago

**not shy:** he probbaly tripped or something like the fuckin noob he is

**baby bread:** hey that’s my future brother in law 

**baby bread:** be nice

**tinie:** sigh

**tinie:** oh to be young and gay

**hyuka:** you’re young and gay queen

**tinie:** yeah but i don’t have a bf :(

**hyuka:** i could fix that ;)

**baby bread:** okay so wtf but we’ll address that later bc jongho just entered the ice cream shop

**baby bread:** he’s sitting down w seungmin 

**baby bread:** i cant hear them from here but jongho looks like he’s abt to shit his pants

**daddy:** jeongin where are you hiding anyways?

**baby bread:** unimportant 

**baby bread:** they’re just awkwardly sitting now this is gonna take a while

**not shy:** in the meantime yall wanna hear another jisu story?

**tinie:** yes

**not shy:** cool balls 

**not shy:** so basically jisu and ryujin were playing uno

**daddy:** okay why did you just say “cool balls” instead of “cool beans”

**not shy:** and ryujin was cheating bc she always cheats lmao and jisu caught her

**not shy:** and jisu started s c r e a m i n g and she woke up yeji unnie and yeji started using the punishment pan

**daddy:** are we just ignoring me

**tinie:** p u n i s h m e n t p a n ?

**not shy:** it’s a pan yeji unnie smacks us with if we’re being dumbasses 

**tinie:** s m a c k s ?

**not shy:** not hard just on the butt like lee know oppa does to his members 

**baby bread:** can confirm. 

**not shy:** except jisu loves the punishment pan bc it gives her an excuse to brag abt her nonexistent ass so she was laughing and shouting while yeji unnie was smacking the shit out of her ass with a large pan

**not shy:** and then our manager walked in

**tinie:** o h 

**daddy:** oh no

**not shy:** so our manager thinks yeji unnie and jisu have some weird dominatrix thing going on now

**brownie bitch:** not yuna only using honorifics for hwang yeji

**not shy:** i don’t want the punishment pan, yugyeom

**not shy:** you should understand

**brownie bitch:** wait what’s that supposed to mean-

**baby bread:** UPDATE‼️

**baby bread:** jongho has NOT asked the question BUT

**baby bread:** drumroll please

**not shy:** just spit it out 

**tinie:** tell us the tea hyung

**baby bread:** seungminnie hyung is literally feeding him ice cream and it’s the most disgustingly domestic thing i’ve ever seen in my life pls save me

**tinie:** AWWWW

**hyuka:** boomer love <3

**tinie:** my ship is sailing!!! 

**tinie:** happy dance happy dance

**tinie:** !!!!!!

**daddy:** ...

**daddy** : is he always this fucking adorable

**hyuka:** yeah pretty much

**not shy:** when he’s not being a dumbass

**brownie bitch:** you sure do call a lot of people a dumbass, yuna

**not shy:** it’s hard being a head and shoulders above the rest

**hyuka:** our jisungie is adorable but he’s also a fucking beanpole giant smh

**daddy:** this coming from you?? kai you’re like 6 feet tall

**hyuka:** yeah and i’m supposed to be the only tall one smh

**tinie:** and then there’s our tiny girl yuna

**tinie:** speaking of tiny why is my name like this? you never explained it yugyeom

**brownie bitch:** oh

**brownie bitch:** yerim named you

**tinie:** it makes sense now

**tinie:** but also speaking of yeri whered she go

**daddy:** disappeared like tzuyu lmao

**brownie bitch:** they couldn’t handle the facts i was serving them rest in pisces

**brownie bitch:** piece*

**daddy:** peace**

**brownie bitch:** ah yes thank you my sour gummy worm

**baby bread:** OKAY SO

**baby bread:** I GOT CLOSER AND I CAN HEAR THEM NOW 

**baby bread:** JONGHO IS ABOUT TO ASK I REPEAT HE IS ABOUT TO ASK

**tinie:** OMG 

**tinie:** tell us what they’re saying omgomgomgomg 

**baby bread:** okay so seungmin is talking 

**baby bread:** “you’re fun to hang out with jongho”

**baby bread:** “we should do it more”

**not shy:** whipped

**tinie:** awwwwwwwwwwwwwww

**baby bread:** jongho said “fork”

**baby bread:** “sorry i meant yes”

**not shy:** dumbass strikes again

**hyuka:** our poor, well-meaning jongho

**baby bread:** OKAY ITS HAPPENING

**baby bread:** jongho is about to

**baby bread:** oh

**not shy:** ?

**tinie:** what’s happening?

**tinie:** jeongin don’t leave us in the dark

**hyuka:** what’d he say????

**baby bread:** uh

**baby bread:** jongho kind of

**baby bread:** accidentally set off the fire alarm

**not shy:** DUMBASS

**brownie bitch:** excuse me what the fuck

**baby bread:** my cover has been blown shit abort abort abort

**baby bread:** mission failed mission failed

**tinie:** i

**not shy:** we should have known

**hyuka:** i’m really disappointed for some reason

**hyuka:** is this what being a parent feels like?

**hyuka:** fuck i’m turning into soobin hyung

**daddy:** uh it’s okay i’m sure there will be other opportunities 

**baby bread:** yeah except now people are recognizing seungmin and jongho

**baby bread:** shit

**baby bread:** they’re in a bit of a situation

**brownie bitch:** call your manager?

**baby bread:** no wait it’s okay 

**baby bread:** jongho’s friend is here

**baby bread:** we can officially say that today was a complete disaster!

**tinie:** :(

**tinie:** i had such hope in him

**kiwi:** Poor Jongho

**not shy:** omg unnie is alive

**brownie bitch:** welcome back tzuyu :)

**kiwi:** Kim Yugyeom I would watch myself if I were you

**kiwi:** You never know what might happen

**brownie bitch:** alright i’m sufficiently frightened

**daddy:** damn this sucks

**daddy:** really thought something was gonna happen

**hyuka:** me too hyung

**baby bread:** okay i’m home

**baby bread:** seungmin hyung is still out

**tinie:** anything else happen?

**baby bread:** no :(

**baby bread:** i haven’t heard from either of them

**baby bread:** idek if they got out

**not shy:** this is so sad alexa play despacito

**daddy:** <https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kJQP7kiw5Fk>

**not shy:** …

**not shy:** thanks?

  
  


_baby bread & opera mf _

_Private Message_

**baby bread:** hey hyung

**baby bread:** where are you

**baby bread:** seungminnie just got home 

**opera mf:** I’m going home

**baby bread:** oh? you don’t want to stay for a while?

**opera mf:** No

**opera mf:** Kinda tired

**baby bread:** ah alright

**baby bread:** well take care of yourself

**baby bread:** sorry today was a bust

**opera mf:** It’s okay

**baby bread:** you sure you’re good jongho ?

**baby bread:** seungmin hyung isn’t mad about anything 

**opera mf:** I’m fine 

**opera mf:** Just a little disappointed about messing everything up

**baby bread:** ah

**baby bread:** but it was just one time 

**baby bread:** you hang out with seungmin hyung a lot 

**baby bread** : i’m sure there’ll be other opportunities right?

**opera mf:** Maybe

**baby bread:** you said it wasn’t a date

**baby bread:** so why feel bad? just a funny story to tell in the future

**opera mf:** Yes I guess 

**opera mf:** But I don’t know Jeongin

**opera mf:** Maybe I wanted it to be a date? 

**opera mf:** I’m confused

**baby bread:** ohhh

**baby bread:** so you do like seungmin hyung :D

**opera mf:** No

**opera mf:** Maybe

**opera mf:** I don’t know

**opera mf:** Don’t tell anyone

**baby bread:** dw hyung i won’t 

**baby bread:** your secret is safe with me!

**opera mf:** Thanks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jongho you idiot


	4. We Stan Titanic Lesbians

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> daddy: you bring joy and happiness to my life just by talking to me or sending me a message bro…
> 
> brownie bitch: i enjoy talking to you because you make me feel happy and i love your company bro…
> 
> daddy: but no homo
> 
> brownie bitch: no homo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can break the fourth wall if i want to this is My Chatfic
> 
> yugyeom - brownie bitch   
> jeongguk - daddy   
> tzuyu - kiwi   
> yeri - squirtle girl   
> yuna - not shy   
> jeongin - baby bread   
> kai - hyuka, fanfixpert   
> jongho - opera mf   
> jisung - tinie

_maknae supremacy_

**tinie:** i vote we call last weeks events the Great Seungho Disaster

**tinie:** all in favor say gay

**not shy:** gay

**hyuka:** gay

**opera mf:** Why are we bringing this up again?

**opera mf:** Haven’t I suffered enough?

**daddy:** gay

**brownie bitch:** gay

**daddy:** gay

**brownie bitch:** omg hi jeongukkie…

**daddy:** hi yugyeomie…

**brownie bitch:** does this mean we kiss now…

**daddy:** maybe…

**kiwi:** Gay

**not shy:** LMAO perfect timing unnie

**baby bread:** gay

**squirtle girl:** gay

**opera mf:** What's Seungho?

**tinie:** it’s your ship name

**tinie:** you and seungmin 

**opera mf:** …

**opera mf:** What's a ship name?

**hyuka:** biggest fucking gasp of my life

**tinie:** it’s true he gasped out loud

**tinie:** here with bae 💕

**not shy:** without me? smh snakes

**hyuka:** we asked yeji noona but she said you’re busy

**not shy:** bitch she’s not my mother

**hyuka:**? so ?

**hyuka:** whatever the main problem is jongho hyung doesn’t know what a ship name is

**hyuka:** haven’t you ever read fanfiction?

**opera mf:** No?

**opera mf:** What is fanfiction?

**squirtle girl:** …

**squirtle girl:** jongho. honey. 

**hyuka:** brb having a heart attack

**hyuka:** hey yugyeom hyung can you do something for me

**brownie bitch:** sure child

**hyuka:** change my name to what we discussed 

_brownie bitch has changed hyuka’s name to fanfixpert!_

**fanfixpert:** thank you

**squirtle girl:** oh shit he serious

**opera mf:** Should I be worried

**daddy:** probably lmao

**fanfixpert:** ahem. 

**fanfixpert:** fanfiction- works of fictitious nature (fan-made books, basically) about characters/celebrities in literature, television, music, etc

**opera mf:** What

**opera mf:** I don’t get it

**baby bread:** okay so remember when you came to the dorm and walked in on sungie and lixie reading that erotic story about milk 

**opera mf:** How could I forget

**opera mf:** WAIT

**opera mf:** Is THAT fanfiction?

**fanfixpert:** yes

**fanfixpert:** but not all fanfics are like the milk fic

**fanfixpert:** the milk fic is. well, it’s a thing. 

**fanfixpert:** but a lot of it is actually p well written and very nice to read

**not shy:** he’s saying this based on the excessive aot fanfiction he consumes

**fanfixpert:** YMIR AND HISTORIA DESERVE THEIR HAPPY ENDING FIGHT ME

fanfixpert: ahem

**fanfixpert:** so jongho hyung 

**fanfixpert:** fanfiction is mostly about romance between two or more of the characters

**fanfixpert:** when people want two characters to be together and advocate for their relationship it’s called ‘shipping’

**fanfixpert:** so for example

**fanfixpert:** i ship ymir and historia from aot bc they are fucking couple of the year and i love them

**squirtle girl:** they are couple of the year tbh

**kiwi:** We stan titanic lesbians

**brownie bitch:** aren’t you guys titanic lesbians?

**squirtle girl:** yugyeom you’re walking on thin fucking ice

**opera mf:** So what you’re saying is

**opera mf:** You ship Seungmin and I

**fanfixpert:** yes

**not shy:** yes

**tinie:** yes 💕

**squirtle girl:** we all do jongho

**kiwi:** Yup

**brownie bitch:** yes but kookie and i are still the brotp 

**daddy:** bro…

**brownie bitch** : bro…

**daddy:** you have my heart bro…

**brownie bitch:** and you have mine…

**daddy:** you bring joy and happiness to my life just by talking to me or sending me a message bro…

**brownie bitch:** i enjoy talking to you because you make me feel happy and i love your company bro…

**daddy:** but no homo

**brownie bitch:** no homo

**not shy:** my eyes

**baby bread:** you two are interesting 

**squirtle girl:** fucking disgusting* is what he meant

**squirtle girl:** we’ve had this group chat for what? two weeks? and you two have managed to increase your nasty bro flirting exponentially 

**brownie bitch** : look yeri i know it’s hard for you because you dont have a bro like jeongguk

**brownie bitch:** but don’t worry

**brownie bitch:** one day your bro will come

**tinie:** was that a snow white reference?

**brownie bitch** : perhaps

**tinie:** i really hate it here sometimes 

**squirtle girl:** i really hate it here all the time

**brownie bitch:** stay mad 🙏

_maknae central_

**brownie bitch:** ok so i’m putting this in the og squad bc i don’t want everyone to know but 

**brownie bitch:** yall

**brownie bitch:** jeongin sent me a screenshot of his conversation w jongho last week

**brownie bitch:** after the Great Seungho Disaster

**daddy:** don’t be shy send it

**brownie bitch:** okok lmao but jeongin is such a snake i love him

**brownie bitch:** _THE AUTHOR DIDNT WANT TO FORMAT THIS SO PRETEND ITS THE CONVERSATION FROM LAST CHAPTER THANKS MWAH_

**squirtle girl:** LMAO THAT LITTLE SNAKE

**squirtle girl:** “dw hyung i won’t ur secret is safe with me!”

**squirtle girl:** BITCH

**kiwi:** So Jongho does like Seungmin

**kiwi:** Interesting…

**brownie bitch:** tzuyu i’m gonna need you to tone down the threatening energy

**brownie bitch:** jeongin and jongho cant know i sent yall the screenshot

**squirtle girl:** ofc ofc 

**kiwi:** I can’t say I’m surprised 

**squirtle girl:** none of us are, tzu 

**squirtle girl:** so now what?

**daddy:** shouldn’t we just stay out of it and let jongho and seungmin’s relationship take it’s natural course?

**brownie bitch:** ...

**brownie bitch:** i mean we could

**brownie bitch:** but

**squirtle girl:** but?

**brownie bitch:** i don’t want to

**brownie bitch:** operation Sail The Ship is now in motion. you’re either with us or you’re against us. 

**squirtle girl:** YES

**squirtle girl:** I’M IN

**kiwi:** No wait

**kiwi:** Usually I’d be all for it but I don’t want to mess up whatever they have going 

**brownie bitch:** that’s the problem tzuyu

**brownie bitch:** they have nothing going. 

**squirtle girl:** lmao for once yugyeomie’s got a point

**brownie bitch:** i don’t have one point

**brownie bitch:** i’ve got 7 

**brownie bitch:** ;D

**daddy:** ...

**daddy:** i’m filing a divorce 

**kiwi:** Get out. 

**brownie bitch:** smh it was a good joke

**squirtle girl:** sure buddy

**daddy:** but all jokes aside, i agree with tzuyu on this

**daddy:** meddling with relationships never really works out and id rather not be on the bad side of apple-breaker boy

**kiwi:** ^^

**brownie bitch:** sigh

**brownie bitch:** you two are no fun :(

**squirtle girl:** look, obviously seungho is struggling

**squirtle girl:** we just wanna make it happen for the lads

**kiwi:** And what if we mess it up?

**squirtle girl:** we won’t mess it up

**squirtle girl:** you’re smart, tzu, you’ll make sure we don’t do anything dumb 

**squirtle girl:** right ? (*´-`)

**daddy:** tzuyu resist 

**daddy:** stay strong 

**kiwi:** I guess it can’t be too bad

**daddy:** w h y

**brownie bitch:** i get your concerns kookie but i’m a nosy bitch <3

**brownie bitch:** operation STS has launched 

_brownie bitch has named the chat_ **_operation sts_ ** _!_

**squirtle girl:** it looks like std 

**brownie bitch:** shut up yeri

_maknae supremacy_

**tinie:** so how come it’s almost valentine’s day and i still don’t have a boo

**fanfixpert:** u do have a boo queen

**tinie:**??

**fanfixpert:** think queen 

**fanfixpert:** think real hard

**tinie:** omg ur right

**tinie:** taehyun is my boo 💕

**fanfixpert:** ...

**fanfixpert:** i’m going to hit you with a shovel

**not shy:** don’t do that bae he’s just a poor little dumbass 

**tinie:** what did i do ?

**fanfixpert:** what didn’t you do

**baby bread:** ok so again uh

**baby bread:** wtf

**fanfixpert:** this has been going on for a long time hyung

**tinie:** what’s been going on

**fanfixpert:** see?

**baby bread:** oh kai you poor child

**not shy:** it’s sad really

**not shy:** jisungie is such an idiota

**tinie:** stop calling me an idiota :(

**fanfixpert:** sigh

**fanfixpert:** it’s ok theres always next year

**tinie:** NEXT YEAR FOR WHAT

**fanfixpert:** nothing queen :)

**baby bread:** so even though i have many questions we are going to set that aside for a moment 

**baby bread:** because i have an announcement to make (´∀｀*)

**squirtle girl:** oooo tell us your announcement jeongin 

**baby bread:** i will

**baby bread:** ahem

**baby bread:** your boy got a mans 😩🙏

**tinie:** WHAT

**fanfixpert:** WHAT

**kiwi:** Omg Jeongin!!! So happy for you ♡

**brownie bitch:** EVEN THE BABY GOT A MAN BEFORE I DID WTF

**brownie bitch:** @kookie THIS IS YOUR FAULT

**daddy:** wtf how is this my fault

**brownie bitch:** ITS ALWAYS YOUR FAULT

**not shy:** okok but who’s the lucky guy? 

**baby bread:** well you probably all know him

**baby bread:** especially you kai 

**fanfixpert:** wot

**baby bread:** it’s beomgyu

**fanfixpert:** WOT THE FUCK ALSJDKS

**fanfixpert:** NO WAY MY CRUSTY ASS HYUNG PULLED YANG JEONGIN

**not shy:** LMAO PLS

**baby bread:** hey don’t call my bae crusty 

**fanfixpert:** ew ew ew don’t call beomgyu hyung ur bae i feel uncomfy 

**squirtle girl:** not jeongin getting a valentine before any of us had the chance

**tinie:** this is why i’m Mad

**fanfixpert:** you don’t have to be Mad you fucking dumbass

**tinie:**??

**baby bread:** poor kai

**daddy:** the foreshadowing is strong this chapter

**kiwi:** What

**daddy:** ;)

**brownie bitch:** dammit kookie stop breaking the fourth wall

**daddy:** i can do whatever i want you toe

**brownie bitch:** :0

**brownie bitch:** okay 

**brownie bitch:** i see how it is

**brownie bitch:** i’ll take my leave now

**daddy:** no wait come back

**daddy:** toes are beautiful toes are great you misunderstood what i was saying 

**not shy:** foot fetish?

**kiwi:** Not now Yuna the boys are having an issue

**brownie bitch:** i thought we had something 

**brownie bitch:** guess not

**daddy:** stop stop stop i’m sorry i didnt mean it

**brownie bitch:** i thought you were bae. turns out you’re just fam. 

**daddy:** bro…

**tinie:** i’m still so confused

**fanfixpert:** you really are, aren’t you

**tinie:** WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

**tinie:** KAI

**tinie:** HELLO?

**tinie:** i hate it here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jeongin and beomgyu i don’t care.


End file.
